I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
