Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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