Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
