Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
