I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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