first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
