Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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