those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize