i was born a porn star she said
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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