I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
