I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
