WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
