oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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