u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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