we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
