please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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