every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
