yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize