Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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