Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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