Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
