She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
