New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
