I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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