Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
