More tranny stories later!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
