Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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