Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Bring me that man meat
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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