I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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