is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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