He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I will pee on everything he values.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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