i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize