if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
As shirtless as possible
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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