how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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