He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
did you just send me my own nude
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
