i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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