On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
