I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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