Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
