How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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