She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
