Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize