I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Your penis caused this!
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