I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
