i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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