After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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