You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
