i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
