She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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