dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
