we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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