brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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