I'm going to jail i love you
we made out on top of his cat.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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