Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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