it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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