you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
