He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
