guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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