Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
