Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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