You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
