WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
