Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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