She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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