If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
