you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
