So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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