so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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