i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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