It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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