She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
